To Light A Candle
by Prince-Malice
Summary: It's better to light a candle than to curse the dark... A final battle ensues. ONESIDED SaiNaru ANGST WARNING


**A/N: I do not own Naruto or anything blah blah blah, please read and review.**

He never seemed to notice, the true nature of a Shinobi.

To dive into battle and steal life after life without blinking once; then to return home, successful, proud of the blood that soaked through your clothes. Sinking into the welcoming arms of those that waited for you, while the families and loved ones of the person whose life you stole remained still, empty limbs spread in wait.

Was that what it meant for all of us? What we all fought for? Just a weak imitation of that concept our ancestors so long ago paved for the future? Couldn't they see it? How could they scream so passionately words of forgiveness, words of grovel… at the one that was able to see what the Shinobi truly were inside?

They fought with a vigor like none I'd ever seen before.

"SASUKE!"

His wail strummed the cords of my dusty forgotten heart and I could barely stand to watch, let alone assist in their pathetic attempt to salvage a bond that remained by such a thin, weakened thread…

I wasn't even sure it existed anymore.

"Sasuke-kun!"

I peeled open my eyes, just in time to see it all. The beaten, discolored, pink mass curled tightly in the stained grass was Sakura, many seals binding her down and several open wounds bleeding profusely as she struggled to free herself and return to the battle at hand.

This was the moment they had all been waiting so long for, drinking up every chance they got to train for this day, this very _second_ was the result of all those years of pain and determination.

And now it was just the two of them, having eliminated Sakura from the battle, _he_ stood alone, his feet dug firmly into the soil as he held his ground; ready for the next assault.

Uzumaki Naruto…

Why do you fight him so righteously? The look on the Uchiha's face was enough to imply that he'd already fallen far beyond the point of no return, so why did he have to try so hard for something he could never have? Despite what is said, Naruto isn't stupid… so… why?

"Naruto! Sakura!"

At my cry, Naruto's attention turned to Sakura, who freed herself from her bindings, launching to her feet and dashing madly to resume the battle. "Sai!" Electric azure eyes caught my own and the desperation and exhaustion pouring out of them made my underused heart clench painfully, "Stop her!" Like a puppet on a string, I found myself entering a battle I'd never intended to get involved in.

My given name is Sai, I am one of the ANBU Corp. ROOT divisions' greatest assets. Purebred to kill and harboring no weakening human emotions, I was the ultimate weapon. I followed one man, Danzou-sama, and held loyalties to not a single other person…

Or that person is who I was, the me I am now couldn't comprehend how I had changed so much despite a lifetimes training to be utilized as an ultimate weapon. But I know when it had all started…. When that loud, dickless, Genin opened his mouth for the very first time.

After swearing to never obey the given orders of someone that is a lesser rank than me, here I found myself retrieving my brush and quickly snaring Sakura in an ink web, slamming her maybe just a bit too roughly into a tree, and binding her there. I'd heard her scream at me before but the tone of her voice at the moment could make any grown man tremble.

"Sai! Let me go! Right now Sai! SAI!"

Glancing back to my blonde comrade, he was engaged in close combat with Uchiha Sasuke, sending floods of chakra pouring out in every direction. I honestly pitied the person who tried to stand between those fists. "I'm sorry Sakura-san." My voice relayed no such feeling, after all, words were only words. "But I cannot allow you to continue with your intentions…"

Her intentions, she had started this battle, been the trigger of all the rage and hatred to overflow and send those two into a spiraling duel to what could be the death…. Because she had to act on impulse and decide that she would be the one to kill the rouge ninja. Not taking into consideration, of course, that she could never stand a chance against the Uchiha, it was a failed mission from the start. But even now she refused to step down and kept trying to interfere. I have no doubts that doing such a thing would end her life at her former comrades hands, and who knew what that could cause Naruto to do?

At the moment, it was best that her and I let this grudge run its course. Sooner or later, Naruto would have to realize that it was either him or Sasuke, that there was no way that Sasuke would ever willingly return to Konoha, therefore he would have to be physically dragged there.

And in bringing back a rouge… the only thing that awaited him was a righteous judgment in the eyes of the council. In my gut I knew that Sasuke didn't stand a chance, he had a death penalty looming over his shoulders, and Naruto knew that also. Maybe that's why he still tried so hard, delaying bringing back the traitor in hopes to prolong his sentence.

"I'm gonna beat the shit outta you when I get out of this…" Sakura hissed, jerking back and forth widely in useless attempts to free herself. I turned to glance at her, for the first time in a while a great dislike for the pink-haired Kunoichi reared itself inside me but I held the feeling from reaching my face. "If you get involved and Naruto dies because of your irrational actions…" I trailed off, already picturing what I would do to her in a grotesquely vivid way. She had seen it in my eyes, no matter how hard I tried I could not keep the threat from being made, even if not verbally. Swallowing heavily, she stared at me through the eyes of a prey, not how I could usually see her, but here she was at my mercy, and if anything happened to Naruto in this fight…

There is no doubt in my mind I would blame her for starting all of this.

"Sasuke! I guess I'm gonna have to break all your bones and take you home myself!" his scratchy obnoxious voice echoed in the valley, it took all my willpower to keep my eyes on Sakura and not turn to witness the tragic scene. "You haven't learned anything! HAVE YOU!" Sasuke's own enraged shout shrieked, laced in malice and frustration. "I'll teach you with these two hands!"

"_Sai, no matter what happens to me, I want you to make sure Sakura doesn't get hurt… no matter what happens… promise me!"_

I shook my head violently, the urge to turn around gripped my lungs and I could not breath, the sounds of screaming in agony and earth shattering beneath my feet could only build such a horrible image in my mind, that I physically couldn't handle it.

"_Why do you try so hard for a world that never wanted you?"_

A loud snap rang out and Sakura screamed, her eyes widening as a look of pure terror washed over her. Out of reflex, I turned to face the scene that I so strongly feared behind me. My ribs felt very tight as I saw Naruto clutching tightly to Sasuke, the Uchiha's chidori shoved right through the blonde's abdomen, hand still cracking with electricity as it penetrated the other side.

"NARUTO!"

Her cry stung my ears and I was left speechless to watch as Naruto refused to release his grip on the Uchiha, holding him still. "Sai! Now!" He called out, his face clenched in one of the most agonizing faces I'd ever seen him make. His cue clogged my throat, and though I tried to speak, words fell silent on the tip of my tongue. Instead I launched myself into the situation, creating more ink bindings and trapping Sasuke in them, even while he was still attached to my loudmouthed comrade.

Flooded with rage, the Uchiha who had run out of chakra, wailed out in despair and hatred to the skies as I sealed him to his bindings and removed him from Naruto forcefully, throwing him across the burned field to stumble away alone; collapsing into the ash.

"Naruto!" I exclaimed, diving to catch my falling comrade. His dead weight slammed into me and brought me down with him, his limp body nestling into my own. "I'll get Sakura right away!" I stated determined, about to release the struggling kunoichi. "No…" Naruto whispered, his voice as dry and lifeless as I'd ever heard it. "If you let her go… you might not be able… to stop her from…killing Sasuke." The realization dawned on me in that moment.

"_It's better to light a candle…"_

Naruto would sooner give his life than endanger his former comrade…

"Naruto!" The girl cried out from her perch on a tree. "Please let me heal you!" I stared down at the first person I'd ever let close to me in years, his skin was caked in layers of dried blood and he had several broken bones, fractures, and dislocations. I'd never seen him this much of a mess before, and we had been through so many hard times together. "I'm dying Sai…" He continued, looking up at me through sad eyes. "Kyuubi's gone, I cant feel him… He can't help me."

It was like a bad movie, the one where the hero dies in the end and the friends are left with nothing but the consuming guilt, convincing themselves it was their own fault. My own injuries burned as they had come into contact with fire and ash, but the pain was nothing like that of the one that gripped my heart.

"We can save you…" I offered, though in my mind I knew it had been too late for him to be okay. He was dying in my arms and I could do nothing. "Where's your will to survive?" His smile was sad and peaceful, and I wish I hadn't asked that. "I don't want to see him executed…" And I knew that he could live, he could awaken the Kyuubi and heal himself enough to get out of this with only some major injury, but nothing fatal.

"_Than to curse the dark."_

But he didn't, and it was because he had lost the will to live.

Sakura's cries would not cease, and I held his head so preciously, my fallen friend.

"_When you care about someone more than anything, you would do whatever it takes to save them.. Sometimes if they don't even want to be saved."_

"_What if you died?"_

"_It'd be worth it."_

"I'm sorry Naruto, but I can not allow you to die."

I split my thumb open with my tooth, and summoned a large scroll, about four feet long. Spreading the scroll out like a tarp, I lifted my friends almost inanimate corpse onto it. His eyes drooped closed and I knew I was running out of time.

"_Remember…" Danzou spoke, his single eye peering through me, "This jutsu is only ever to be used on a 'Kage', using it on any other person is strictly forbidden." I closed my eyes and nodded, "Yes, Danzou-sama."_

I centered him in the middle and pulled out a kunai. "Do not think bad of me for going against your wishes." I mumbled, slicing deeply into each of my hands with the cold blade, speaking soundless nothings to the unconscious teen.

I've never seen the world look so dark, a blanket of soot lay over the sky and the night fell quickly, leaving me hardly anything to see. As if the world lost it's sunshine when Naruto's eyes slipped closed. "You don't deserve this." I continue, performing several different hand signs rapidly, "to die in the mud, killed by a comrade… I won't allow it"

I dragged my bloody hands along the aged scroll, mixing it into Naruto's own, gritting my teethe furiously. "I want to give you what you deserve!" Sakura had taken to repeatedly slamming her head backwards into the tree trunk, tears cascading down her cheeks as she chanted "let me go, let me go, let me go…" My body felt hot as I press my forehead down against the vessels and winced at how cold he had grown.

"You deserve more than I could give you." Ripping off my gloves and pressing my bare bloody palms into Naruto's ears, I felt my chest heave, "You deserve more than the world could ever give you…"

With that final statement, I crushed my lips tightly into his, entering a world of a darkness like I'd never known before.

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Everything was a smoggy black and I could not see past my own nose, just ran blindly through the shroud, water splashing beneath my feet. Had he really fallen this far already? I pondered, feeling my way through empty corridors, calling out in a voice I could not recognize as my own. "Naruto!"

It felt like hours, this tread, before I heard the distance wailing of a child, slamming into my ears drums. I followed it like a lifeline, crawling closer as it grew louder. And then, I saw him… That tiny body curled up into itself, rocking back and forth as painful sobs wracked his small ribcage. He didn't look more than five years old. "SOMEBODY! ANYBODY! DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE!"

I stumbled as I approached the shell of my former friend. "Naruto!" His body was so small and fragile, as if it would snap instantly, but there was no doubt in my mind that it was indeed, him. His blonde wet hair clung to his face as he sat waist deep in a dark water. He seemed to glow amongst the shadows surrounding him.

His large watery eyes turned my way and a small hiccup echoed through his chest. "Who're you?" he sniffled as I dropped to my knees to take him into my arms. I lifted him with ease and he jumped, startled. "Where're you taking me?" he asked as I turned to head the direction from which I came, though it had proved difficult to get here, the soft glow emitting from the boy in my grasp seemed to light the way.

"To a place where you'll always be surrounded by people that love you." I answered, diving into a mad sprint, the now illuminated bleak walls guiding me along. As if by magic, the boy grew older in my grasp, causing me to set him down and clasp tightly to his hand as I lead him along.

"Is there such a place?" His now somewhat stronger subconscious asked, appearing to be around twelve years old. My grip tightened as before me appeared a brilliant, white, circle. "Yes Naruto, there is a place, where people lift you onto their shoulders in praise and entrust their lives to you, they chant your name and cry for every hurt, physically or mentally that you sustain."

The blue eyes brightened and a shattered smile spread on his face, breaking my heart, "Really? Is that true?" he whispered, I nodded firmly. "Yes, it is." "Are you in there too?"

My chest burned as I slowly shook my head. "No, I won't be there, but it's okay because, there's someone else you'd much rather have anyway who is."

"But you seem so nice… why won't you be there?"

The circle was in reach now, and I grabbed Naruto's arm, slinging the small boy forward, through the iridescent light.

"Because you have to live! You have to become Hokage!" I cried out to the airborne blonde, "You have to breath!" As he passed through the circle, he changed into the seventeen year old man that I had come to care for, his eyes widening in realization as he reached a desperate hand out to me. I dug my heels into the soppy water, sealing my position as he disappeared from me slowly.

"SAI!"

I clutched my heart and collapsed onto my knees, staring up in agony, every emotion I'd withheld in my entire life pouring out of my voice, I gave a final cry.

"INHALE!"

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I inhaled violently and threw my head back, throat burning from the toxic air that surrounded me. Where was I? Glancing around, I recognized the battlefield before me, the blood soaked dirt and ash, an entire forest cleared and reduced to nothing. Sasuke lay wrapped strictly in an ink binding, opposite of him was Sakura, sobbing as she was bound to a tree.

Where was Sai?

"_To a place where you'll always be surrounded by people that love you."_

"Naruto!"

"Kakashi-Sensei! He's still in there!"

_Bawling…_

"He stayed there! HE STAYED!"

"You have to save him!"

"He's… already gone…"

"You bastard, why did you have to do that!"

"_You deserve more than the world could ever give you…"_

I wailed into the night.

The wind howled so sorrowfully, the faint whispers of my fallen comrade echoing through my ears.

"_I know you are more than willing to sacrifice yourself for a friend, Naruto…" Standing up, the ghost-skinned boy stared at me through such blackened eyes._

"_But I also cant think of anyone in Konoha who wouldn't sacrifice them self for you." _

I would never know if it had all really been worth it…

**A/N: OMG ANGST! Yes I know I cant believe I actually wrote a story WITHOUT a happy ending X_x it's so not my style. But yeah, hope you all enjoyed it would love to get reviews 3 **


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